First Quarter Review

At the start of the year, when I read the prediction that the first quarter of 2009 would be laden with drama and unnecessary emotionality for those born under my sign, I should have taken heed. Then I would have prepared myself for the barrage of Maalaala Mo Kaya moments that were headed my way, taking hold of most of the first quarter of my year and deviously extending its grasp to the present.

As this blog would attest, I am no alien to drama but there comes a point in the life of everyone when drama becomes an unnecessary complication that is better avoided whenever possible. This year, I discovered that drama can be an unforgiving hound that will not rest until properly addressed and people whom you think you know inside and out can exhibit intolerable signs of paranoid delusions, indifference and even cruelty once afflicted by this terrible plague.

In the roller coaster of events that have come to pass, hurtful words that will forever be etched to memory were exchanged and resentful actions that were unconsciously committed would forever dent the very trust that served as a foundation to years of togetherness. But at the end of the day, when we have come to realize our faults and make compromises to fix what we have damaged and hold on to what we deem important and worth saving, we also come to appreciate the people that have stood by our side when everything was bleak and when I was convinced that love could never be unconditional. This time has also given way to the discovery of new friends and kindred spirits who once again prove that friendships come naturally and are never forced nor sought.

As time never ends, we continue to sail into the future with uncertainty and the endless baggage of our past weighing us down. As I struggle to keep afloat and create a future that is worth looking forward to, I am engulfed with endless gratitude to friends, family and loved ones who make every day of the journey bearable and express with hardly any words that regardless how much I fuck up, for as long as I keep trying to get my life back on track, they are on my side. This offers a glimmer of hope that I badly need in this time of doubt. One that keeps me sane and grounded as I endure this ongoing quest called life.

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